Enter the intelligently designed UpChucky Award, which recognizes supreme achievement in the field of persistently rejecting evolution in the most stomach-turning way imaginable. This crown of cluelessness, this diadem of density, this badge of bullpucky isn't awarded to just any Darwin doubter. The UpChucky is bestowed on that one creationist whose efforts in the preceding year would inspire Darwin (or any rational person) to "drive the porcelain bus".
The nominees:Don McLeroy, former chair, Texas Board of Education
Notable Don quote: "Somebody's got to stand up to experts!"Ray Comfort, Living Waters
Notable Ray quote: "Behold the atheist's nightmare! Now, if you study a well-made banana, you'll find..."
Notable Casey quote: When asked if intelligent design--as mentioned in a proposed Florida law--constituted "scientific information", Luskin dithered, saying, "In my personal opinion, I think it does. But the intent of this bill is not to settle that question. The intent of this bill is...it protects the 'teaching of scientific information.'"Al Jazeera
Notable quote: "[American scientists]...announced yesterday that Ardi’s discovery proves that humans did not evolve from ancestors that resemble chimpanzees, which refutes the longstanding assumption that humans evolved from monkeys.”
And the winner is...Don McLeroy! (Chunderous applause.)
Said Steve Mirsky, who announced the coveted UpChucky award during a ceremony held in conjunction with the 2010 AAAS convention in San Diego:
"The amazing thing about Don is that he's a dentist who spends all his time--when he's not destroying academic standards in Texas--working with some of the primary evidence of human evolution. Teeth! Whole fossil lineages can be defined by their teeth! Don doesn't get that. He's clearly a worthy winner of the first annual UpChucky award."
A smaller version is here:
CONTACT: Robert Luhn of the NCSE, 510-601-7203, email@example.com
Web site: www.ncse.com
The National Center for Science Education (NCSE) is a not-for-profit, membership organization that defends and promotes the teaching of evolution in the public schools. The NCSE provides information and resources to schools, parents, and concerned citizens working to keep evolution in public school science education. We educate the press and public about the scientific, educational, and legal aspects of the creation and evolution controversy, and supply needed information and advice to defend good science education at local, state, and national levels. Our 4000 members are scientists, teachers, clergy, and citizens with diverse religious affiliations.
Robert Luhn of the NCSE, 510-601-7203, firstname.lastname@example.org
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